Two Suitcases, A Lifetime

I showed up here roughly a year and a half ago with two heavy suitcases in tow and an array of other bags slung over my eager and determined shoulders.  Sidewalks were pounded, apartments were scoured, temporary homes were squatted in, subways were hesitantly navigated, and after two months or so of this frightening carousel, I settled in to a cool and spacious home in a little neighborhood called Williamsburg.  It was then, finally, that I began to think I could make a home of New York City.

And I did make it my home.  I discovered things with my own feet and eyes and ears and nose that had been discovered by so many before me but for the first time were being recorded in my own consciousness.  I wandered bookstores, traversed avenues, chose favorite benches in parks, and began to wear the paths of my own feet familiar.  I made new friends and then I made more new friends and each one had more and more in common with this new self I was creating.  I turned 30 years old, published a book, drank too much sometimes, missed my good friends far away, traveled out of the city to get perspective.  Perspective that looked like the Manhattan skyline disappearing and then reappearing days or weeks later looking exactly the same.  This is a city that changes by the minute and yet is completely timeless.

I rode a bike that didn’t go anywhere twenty-some times, sweat dripping even from my eyeballs, just to prove to myself that I could.  I jumped off a platform holding only onto a thin trapeze bar and let go at the precise moment a stranger in flame-printed tights caught me by the hands.  I fell in love with a man who lived far away from the city, in my past, and one day he showed up and said, “I live here now too.”  And the city was anew again with springtime and love and new tastes and sights and flutters of the heart.  And now I’m leaving, full and happy, like I’d just finished a luxurious meal course by course which has made me sleepy and euphoric.  I am satisfied.  This city has fed me bitter, savory, rich, and sweet but never bland.

What will I miss most?  It’s hard to say yet, for the imprints on my memory are still too close to see the whole picture.  Will I come back?  Absolutely, though I’ll be changed yet again and so will bewhat I discover when I come.  Can I be happy somewhere else?  Surely, for I am a nomad, an adventurer, and my home is within myself.

Tennessee was a wild horse that I tamed and made my own.  New York is a wild bull that bucked me off, but only after my eight seconds were up.  I’ve had my ride.  I have no regrets; nothing was missed; not a moment was wasted, even the rough ones.

I leave here today the same way I came – with two heavy suitcases in tow and an array of other bags slung over my triumphant shoulders – and yet I’m completely different.

The Bigger Steps

On the Met steps.

It’s a funny thing when you realize something that everyone around you has known for some time.  You know what I mean, you say to your mom “I’ll think I’ll be a teacher” after 3 different majors and years of her telling you you’d make a great teacher.  Or you tell your best friend you’ve decided to go back to blonde because red maybe isn’t your color and she looks at you like she’s glad you’ve finally figured it out.  I’ve been getting that look a lot lately.

As you may have guessed after several months of hinting, I’ve decided to move to New York.  I’m not exaggerating when I say everyone I know, from old friends to new, from relatives to facebook friends I’ve never even met in person, everyone I know has had the same reaction: “Of course you are!”

And they’re right.  I probably should have moved there years ago, though everything happens for a reason.  The work I’m doing now – which is the most fun and challenging and rewarding and demanding in my career history – may not have come to be had I moved sooner.  So of course there are reasons.  But the good thing about the I-should-have-known I’m facing now is that it truly confirms that I am making the right decision.  My personality, my work, my hobbies, my friends, it all lines up with New York and I’m not the only person who thinks so!  (WHEW!)

The adventure begins in just a couple of short months, and you’ll surely be apprised of all the goings-on.  Let me encourage you, if you’ve been wanting to make a move, start a business, or take any step that you’ve been hesitating over: Have faith in yourself.  It might not be easy.  It might be terrifying and risky and may or more likely may not turn out like you think.  But the bigger steps are the ones that take you farther, and the places you find in life that you didn’t predict are the ones worth finding.

Here’s to your next adventure!